5 golden rules for power metal glory

Definitivt bland det roligaste jag läst på länge från en artist. De tar ofta sig själva på alldeles för stort allvar, och då menar jag inte bara artister utan offentliga personer i största allmänhet. Det gäller absolut inte Tobias Sammet, känd från Edguy och Avantasia, som bjuder på en bra syrlig intervju men ändå med en gnutta sanning och en hel del glimt i ögat!

1. “Have seven double bass songs on each album, no matter if they all sound the same. If you have twenty songs to choose from, and ten of them are great mid-tempo songs, throw them out and go for the fast ones, no matter what they sound like!”

2. “Tell the press, the fans and everyone else in the universe what they want to hear. Say things like: ‘We do it for the fans!’ Never tell them your real motivations and that you’re in it for the money, the chicks and to let out your own creativity. A not to be underestimated amount of individuals don’t really know about money, chicks and creativity.”

3. “Put a little dragon here and there. In your band name, in your album title, or at least in the second verse of your first five songs on your first fifteen albums. Dragons do no harm, especially not to bank accounts of songwriters of power metal bands.”

4. “Don’t call yourself Edguy. Choose any name, but not Edguy. Thirteen year old pimple-faces will call you Edgay on Blabbermouth and consider themselves extremely funny. Being called Edguy will do serious harm to your sales, to your reputation, to your self-esteem, to everything in your life. You can forget about the money and chicks bit I told you before if you call yourself Edguy. Plus I will sue you!”

5. “Never grow! Never modify your sound, never experiment around. Repeat yourself and bore yourself to death. Death by boredom is 16.6 percent less painful than death by starving. So bore yourself to death quickly! Make sure you bore yourself to death before you bore your target audience to death! ‘Cause then you’ll starve and in this case, see above! I didn’t follow most of these rules, and as you can see, I am still not as rich as Keith Richards, although morally I feel quite close. I hope you do things a bit differently than I did, and I wish you the best of luck. If you fail to succeed, go ask the press for advice. They know everything better than me anyway!”

(Compliments to: http://www.bryanreesman.com/2011/09/03/tobias-sammets-five-golden-rules-for-power-metal-glory/)